With the ever-growing demand for more optimism and mental stability, seeking help and knowing when to ask for it gets you one step closer to inner peace and tranquility. The reasons why we feel under constant pressure and how we can change solely depend on us. The most important thing to consider is that you are not alone in this fight and will never be.
You have the right to complain about your problems, and it does not make you less of a person. There is no supposed “ dignity” in keeping your emotions bottled up until you collapse both mentally and physically. In short, don’t do everything on your own; instead, accept professional help and advice as follows.
Don’t be a superhero
The term “superhero” refers to a person who overworks themselves until complete exhaustion to make up for how insufficient and inadequate they feel. This “disease” often stems from high expectations that were set when we were children. The need to be perfect, to always work everything out, and the need for recognition and acknowledgment from others make us “workaholics” until we cannot go further. The real solution is a “moderate approach” to everything.
Having high expectations of yourself is good if the root of those expectations does not lie in your inner need to be recognized by your partner or parents but rather in yourself and a sense of self-gratification. If you love something and feel you are good at it, it is completely normal to pursue it and try your best. Just know when to stop, as the line between perseverance and obsession is a thin one. Also, make sure to look at your overall health and if your work takes a toll on it.
The bottom line is that you are human, which makes you literally programmed to make mistakes, and accepting that will ease off all the pressure you might feel at the moment. Also, you as a person alone have a certain worth no matter your achievements, the biggest of which is how you treat others.
Being a soloist
This type of person prefers to work alone, stay isolated from others, accept introverted patterns of behavior, and keep everything to themselves out of fear of seeming weak and incompetent. Once again, the reason you fear appearing like this is social expectations and because your personal identity is greatly affected by what others think of you.
It can be that, growing up, you have been compared to your siblings or friends by your parents, but there are other possible factors involved. Unfortunately, this mindset actually keeps you away from success, not closer to it, because you are lacking the constructive criticism and feedback you would otherwise receive in a more vibrant working environment filled with people. It also makes you more secluded and lonely.
An interesting solution to breaking away from this pattern of behavior is becoming more socially involved. You can start by helping out others who might have this problem. Approach them, seek them out, and offer your help. It seems odd, but maybe taking up the role of a life coach would loosen you up and make you more self-confident in your personal capabilities.
There are numerous life coach training programs that can make you a certified life coach, offering you the opportunity to do good and become more active. It will help you break the vicious cycle of seclusion and loneliness; it gives you more meaning and a sense of higher purpose, and it also helps you establish new acquaintances. This way, you’ll actually be the factor that changes something, not simply part of the problem.
We are not talking about OCD, we are talking about an obsessive desire to do everything according to your personal preference, even though it takes a toll on your mental health. Unfortunately, this stems from your fixation on flaws rather than strengths, making you more prone to negative thoughts as you are missing out on all the positive things you have achieved and are good at. It also puts a lot of stress on you, making you more nervous and anxious which can affect your physical health drastically. Try changing the perspective and instead look at all the positive outcomes and success.
There are numerous possibilities for what you can do differently and what specific problems are making it harder for you to simply be happy. Take into account your need to set high goals and, once you feel overburdened by them, collapse under their weight. Instead of taking some pressure off by trying again with less burden, you feel incompetent and unworthy and push yourself even harder until exhaustion. All these patterns are self-destructive tendencies, often resulting in misery and a sense of worthlessness.
Remember, if your environment is not providing comfort and doesn’t give you a sense of self-worth, change it. Also remember, help is something everyone needs as it makes us humans. The need for social interaction and establishing basic human relations is so deep that neglecting it actually harms us.